What do you think of my story? http://goldsilvermarket.blogspot.com/ http://goldsilvermarket.blogspot.com/
Reign of the paw. http://goldsilvermarket.blogspot.com/ Theres a rumor A legend of sorts That a king will arise Prophesied to bring about the fall of many kingdoms But his reignis not of light But of a dark corrupt evil For he is not completely humanbut something different A king he shall be and by his sword shall many fall but what he truly is remains unknown Wake up Christopher said a beautiful young woman with fiery red hair You know by now most boys your age would be chopping the wood for breakfast or if nothing else at least they would be awake. Just ten more minutes Sarah Said a sleepy voice. A small head slowly slunk under his thin sheets. All that remained visible was just the top of his messy brown hair. Chris get up. Sarah walked over to the rustic shutters and pushed them open Todays the only day left to go to market. Unless you dont want to see the knights welcome parade. Thats today? The eight year old boy said as he stumbled out of bed falling flat on his face. He tried picking himself up but was helpless due to being tangled in the bed covers. Sarah laughed Hurry and come to eat. With that she walked out the doorway and down the hall. Oh boy Christopher thought I forgot about the parade Everyone from school will be there He shot across the room and gently pulled open the set of drawers Sarah had managed to buy from an old vendor. It was so abused and broken down that as he slid it open one of the worn wooden handles fell from its home and bounced off the floor. They didnt have much What they had before their parents death had been quickly taken away by selfish relatives and thieving neighbors. The house was in such a state of disrepair that some who passed by thought it to be unoccupied. How they dreamed about beautiful silk gowns or leather leggings but alas they were dreams Nothing more A tear ran down Sarahs cheek as she cracked the eggs over a hot pan. He knows nothing she thought. For months it had been a back and forth emotional battle inside her mind. She had to do as their parents had said. She HAD to take him to see the king. But why? It wasnt fair to her She was the one who had worked since she was fourteen Sure she didnt give birth to him. It was her brother but he looked up to her as a mother. But who would be the wiser? She was the only one who knew of the royal blood coursing through his veins. Why had he been the one to be cursed with it? That royalty It was the only thing tearing them apart The king had done nothing to help them in fact just the opposite He had given them heavier taxes because they were not a member of his court. Sarah was told to give him to a certain knight That Chris would be fine Completely unharmed and in good hands But was she not capable enough? More tears started making their way down her fair thin face. I must follow through with my promise She said finally.For my honor sake as much as this familys. She dried her eyes with the corner of her faded blue dress. So many years. Now this was the day. This was the day that made all that time feel meaningless. Had she done it all for nothing? Christopher almost ran over his sister as he was almost flying to the table. To him the day couldnt go faster He wanted nothing more than to see the bright shining silver armor riding into the castle gates. He wanted to be right next to them so close that he would be able to reach out and stroke their mighty steeds flank. He plopped down into a rickety chair and grabbed his fork. Im going to become a knight someday Sarah a great brave knight. Ill wear a helmet of gold and wield a silver shield. Ill be the best knight in the kingdom He started jabbing the air with his fork pretending he was fighting a great monster of some sorts with a gleaming sword. Im sure you will Sarah said smiling Just dont forget about me I wont Said the young boy. I promise Grinning he looked at the plate put in front of him a single egg and a piece of toast. His joy faded for a moment while he remembered the old days Bacon Sausage Heaps of bread. But that was before And Ill buy a bunch of sausage when Im a knight Sarah smiled and looked away. This isnt fair She thought again. She looked at her own meager helping one egg. Another tear. Its his last day and I couldnt even give him a decent meal. Whats wrong Sarah? Arent you hungry? Starving Sarah said as she regained her composure. And for just a little time she was able to enjoy his constant chatter. It may be the last day Ill hear it. Who knows what the future might bring she thought. Who can say what will happen tomorrow. Maybe nothing will come of this and itll be back to the normality were both used to. But isnt this selfish? I want nothing but the best for Christopher But I also I also dont want to lose him
Asked by shadow92 about Books Authors
A bit sappy at the end. Intro/Prologue thingy sounds awesome. Great writing ability but the ideas are a bit hazy I think. http://goldsilvermarket.blogspot.com/
Answered by Laya S
i really like it it seems very interesting and i love how well written it is. http://goldsilvermarket.blogspot.com/ Answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/indexyltAtnlpQP8PVRTUkRvKAeFYh7sy6IXylv3?qid20100216113233AAZ24f6show7profileinfo7IFDX3kCaa
Answered by Carl Fredrickson
Well the content is interesting and I like where youre going with this. It sounds like an interesting fantasy and you could really let your imagination run wild with this. Have fun First off I do like the characters and want to know more about them but right now it needs some sort of hook. The beginning starts off a little slow and I think itd be a little better if it was told from one point of view. Maybe not in the first person but I think itd work really well if it concentrated on either the brother or the sister. Jumping from his thoughts to hers feels a little off. For instance since you mentioned the young boy chattering perhaps he could say all his thoughts in dialogue? Its just an idea what do you think? Oh Sarah I cant wait to see the shining silver armor the knights riding into the castle gates. Ive just got to be right next to them as close as I can I want nothing more than to reach out and stroke their mighty steeds flank Keep working on it though its got potential
Answered by NekoBus
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