Women what do I do with this long post?
Ok here is the situation. My wife and I have been married 19 years we love each other and have 3 great kids and have been through a lot during our marriage not problems with each other but have taken on any and every challenge life can throw at us and can out on top. So anyway things have been tough financially for the last 11 months or so I hospialized and had a successful business fail and money has been tight. I have worked a grave yard shift at a nightclub here in vegas for the last 8 months and a crappy day time job to make it work. So not a lot of time. There has been zero intimacy in 7 months. Not for lack of trying on my part althoug i have not pushed to issue hard kind of just disgusted and alomost gave up to the point where it scares me a bit because I have alomst lost interest in her sexually i forever though she was the most beautiful sexy women on earth now... I see faults I never saw. Anyway she was never very sexual but was always loving and still is for the most part. She is stressed a bit because the money is much tigher than it was. I told her lacking intimacy and being cold is not helping at all in fact it just becomes one more problem on my plate and adds a bit of self doubt not much I AM PRETTY CONFIDENT IN MY SELF. I have never cheated on her and have had many opportunities but never ever came close. I am sure she is not cheating also she just has an ability to shut down emotionally and be cold not to just me but to everyone. I make efforts to show her I love without any strings attached little thoughtful gifts touches kiss and on and on . And do thoughtful things to show my appreciation I am not a push over though begging and making her feel pressed or myself look pathetic. She does not want to talk about it and does not want any date nights all tide to money she thinks it would be money not needed to be spent. It has gotten to the point where last night at work this girl or actually women about 30 or so was leanign into me pressing her chest against me to talk it is very loud and crowded and I got fully aroused. She knew what she was doing because she put he hip in my crouch and could tell and continued doing it when I plled back. She can back later but I just completely avoided being near her because i was at a point where I may have given in and went along with her. Any way what to do?
Asked by Al Bundy about Marriage Divorce
That must be really hard especially because you work at a nightclub. Well even though she doesnt want to talk about it she has to. Another option would be to see a couples therapist but you are tight on money so I dont think that will work. You need to be honest with her and she needs to listen. You need to tell her that she needs to open up to you and you two have to put the time aside to spend time together and remember who you are together as a couple. You said that you cant go out on dates because of money but there are things you can do together that are free. Go on a walk at sunset. Pack a picnic. Light some candles at home. Overall you just need to be honest. You need to tell her that you are struggling that you love her but because she hasnt been showing any interest in you in a long time you are beginning to lose interest in her which is NOT something that you want. You two have been married a long time which is an achievement. There is no reason to give up now. You two can survive this together it just takes communication. I hope she is up for it. Good luck.
Answered by CrazyFool
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