This is the start of my book what do you think?
Hi so this is the start of my book is it ok? What can be done to make it better? Can you think of second names for my characters? and also I dont want to go through the whole wedding with the priest saying the vows what can I do to skip it? Thanks x Come on darling I wont bite. He said taunting her. Ricardo stood at the entrance of the alleyway. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent. The hunger burned his throat. It was dark but it didnt matter to him not anymore. She would struggle to see and it made it more exciting for him. He walked past the large dustbins that sat along the alleyways edge his finger nails scraping the paint off with ease. The screeching no longer hurt his ears. Youre the one who made the promise to me remember? he said laughing Till death do us part? Catherine crouched in the furthest corner she had found. Her shaking hand covered her mouth to stop her screaming. As the tears leaked down her face she closed her eyes and remembered the day they made the promise to each other the day they had become man and wife. He was not that person anymore her husband was gone. Ricardo chose to come here to protect but now he was forced to stay and kill. Chapter 1 He stood at the altar waiting not on him but on Catherine. She would be here soon and then he would be happy. Ricardo came here often nearly every day. But today was not to check in today was about marrying the woman he loved. The church was placed right in the centre of town and its tall stain glassed windows were a talking point among tourists. St. Marys priest Father Dowling had been taking mass here for the last twenty years and Ricardo felt like he was a father to him of a different kind. No one knew but Father Dowling was one of them just like Ricardo. He had trained and taught Ricardo everything there was to know. Ah my boy. Father Dowling said She will be here soon. There is no need to worry Thats easy for you to say Father Ricardo said as he paced up and down the altar. Ricardo didnt have any family left so as he looked into the seats all he saw were Catherines family. A few of his old friends had turned up but he didnt care as long as she came thats all that mattered. As the organ music started to play he turned to face Father Dowling. Staring into his eyes the old priest told him This is your reward son for all the good deeds you do here on earth. Ricardo smiled and mouthed thank you. Catherine stood at the top of the aisle her stomach in knots. She was nervous and worried that he would not have shown but as she looked down the long narrow walkway she smiled and turned to face her father. You ready pumpkin? he asked. Clasping his arm and nodding she told him Lets go. She could hear her family gasping as she walked slowly down toward her husband to be. This was only to be expected she was gorgeous. Her long flowing blonde hair was pinned up in a French roll and her veil covered her baby blue eyes. The dress was old cream in color and thousands of tiny diamonds ran down the front. The trail was lifted by her two nieces Sophie and Rebecca. It was in fact her grandmothers dress and Catherine was proud to wear it in memory of her. As she passed her grandfather she could see he too was beaming with pride but she noticed his eyes told a different story. She stopped and blew him a kiss. He pretended to catch it and place it on his lips and then Catherine continued to walk. When she reached Ricardo she turned to her father. Taking his arm out of her own he kissed her hand and told her I love you darling before winking at Ricardo and returning to the seat next to her Mother at the front of the church. She turned to face the man she loved his mahogany brown hair sleeked back tidy with gel. A tear fell from his emerald green eyes. This was the first time she had ever seen Ricardo cry and she knew it was not tears of sadness. We are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony Ricardo and Catherine . Said Father Dowling.
Asked by Sharon D about Books Authors
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